Madonna’s wearing her cowboy hat again – but what does it MEAN?

1. Madonna has recently entered into a Wilhelmina Slater-esque relationship with an older man from Wyoming and is subconsciously mirroring his wardrobe.

2. Madonna has forgotten she already did the cowboy thing 14 years ago, a possible symptom of early onset dementia.

3. Madonna has heard that Miley Cyrus is quite ‘in’ at the moment and is attempting to hitch aboard the bandwagon, not realising Miley Cyrus is not the same as Billy Ray Cyrus and it has been some time since Miley Cyrus ‘did country’. Miley Cyrus has no idea what is going on, other than TONGUE.

4. Madonna is going very bald.

5. Madonna has finally come to accept my incontrovertible truth that her best song to date is most definitely Don’t Tell Me. She is in full agreement with me on this – no matter what anyone else says – and her newly bejewelled cowboy hat is personal reassurance to me, Ross, that the long overdue techno-folk sequel is finally on its way. Such joy! Such happiness! Thank you, Madonna! Thank you!!

6. Madonna just really likes cowboy hats.

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